Seriously, once in a while I like to read some of the stuff in my spam box. This is the latest one regarding an package I was sent. NO! I don’t click the link. Seriously!!!
Anyway, this is the message
Dear Customer,
Your parcel has arrived at the post office at December 7.Our postrider was unable to deliver the parcel to you.
To receive a parcel, please, go to the nearest our office and show this postal receipt.
Some stuff really creeps me out. The dancing guy thing for Six Flags commercials. The Snuggle fabric softener bear (it’s eyes), and the Free Credit guy looks a bit like a stalker to me.
Then there are things that scare the bejeezers out of me. Water bugs for one. Not those little roaches. Those scare me as well. The Enormous creatures that will inherits the Earth? They take me to a whole different level of terror.
True event. This morning I go through my usual. Brush teethe, have coffee, check news and weather. Start the shower and wait for the water to warm. I get in and shut the curtain. I was not alone. I shot out of there double quick. Grabbed the towel and start beating the bottom of the shower trying to kill the beast. The shower was still running and so I snatched the hand held and start spraying it with hot water. Finally it stopped moving enough that I hit it with the shower head. It looked a little mangled and went down the drain.
To make sure that it was dead, I poured Drano on it. HA! That should do it. My still dripping self went to the other bathroom showered. I checked it out first. Just in case.
I go back to my bathroom because I am certain that part of the re con done by the enemy involved my toothbrush so it has got to go. Oh you know I was gagging for the better part of an hour. Anyway, I see something out of the corner of my eye. Paranoid, I am sure there is another one. NO! IT WAS THE SAME ONE! IT WAS WALKING AROUND (a little wonkier) the bottom of the shower.
Oh it is ON! Wasp and hornet spray is my next weapon in the arsenal. I can stay a comfortable (sorta) 10 feet from my foe. Zapped about ½ a can at it. Enough that I was coughing so I am sure victory is at hand. It flipped over and twitched a bit then was still. YEAH team Me right?
I go about my day. Come back with new toothbrush in hand. I walk in there and wouldn’t you know it but it is still twitching. So am I. It is still in there. My new battle plan is still under development. Beating it with a shower head, scalding water, bath towels, poison and acid seems to have a limited effect on it. I have a propane tank (and propane accessories) in the garage.
It really stuns me when customers claim the latest fad in food allergies. I really want to ask to see a note from their Doctor to verify it. The current one is gluten. I am sure there are some people that actually have an allergy to gluten. I suspect most really don’t. Case in point is the lady asked the waitress if there was flour in the mashed potatoes. Can’t say I have ever used flour in mashed potatoes. Anyway, lady ordered them with the cream gravy. Um yaaaaaaaaaaaa.
Seriously, as a Chef in a small/med/large restaurant, you do not walk in and everything is ready for you to cook. Does not really matter what your title is you have to insure your stuff is in order (mise). This applies to life and those outside the culinary world and yet “they” don’t quite get it. In our world, we should have a plan in place. More often than not I wake up and think of what I need to get done at the cafe, when I need to start and finish each task, where things need to be placed, how I am going to do it, what do we have left over that can be used for a special, how to cook and plate the special, what day of the week it is. Weather also plays a part and not just for my drive time. Pay days, school schedules and more. Then I consult the Ouiji board to have a plan.
At Cafe 131, I still don’t know what to expect as far as customers. I build it and they may come. CIP,: There was a fire on MoPac Southbound at Barton Skyway. It was backed up on the southbound at 3333. Took me an hour just to get thru (keep in mind I started that trip at 2:15) and did not get to the Cafe until 3:50 PM. I usually get there at 3:30 on my heavy prep days. A woman claled in a togo at 4 for a 5 pick up.
I felt like I spent the whole night in the weeds. Sure, everything went out on time but SHIT! I honestly HATE HATE HATE being late.
Some poor soul is gonna think it is real but it showed up in my spam box- I just copied it as it was sent to me.
Department of Treasury Internal Revenue Source
Important information about your tax return
We are unable to process your tax return
We recived your tax return. However, we are unable to process the return as field.
Our records indicate that the person identifiedas the primary taxpayer or spouse on the tax return did not provided all the required documents shown on the tax form. Our records are based on information received from the Social Security Administration.
Based on this information, the tax account for the individual has been locked
What you need to do
Print out the attached notification and list of missing documents, fill it in, add the documents and send the following information to the adress shown in the attached notification.
List of required documents:
1. A copy of this letter
2. Notification letter
3. A photocopy of valid U.S. Federal or State Government issued identification.
Keep this notice for your records. If you need assistance, please don’t hesitate to contact us
I am temp Chef at a resto under transition at the moment and it is all good.
To save my time, I suggested a couple changes so I didn’t get pulled off the line to take care of this stuff. One of which was to have the FOH dress the salads. I put all the house made dressings in squirt bottles and stuck em in the cooler next to the pick up window. Sounds reasonable right? Normal practice right? Should be no problem for MOST FOH.
Yet it is not.
They hired a young lady was hired a couple weeks before I arrived. She claims that she has FOH experience. Ummmmmm. Here are a few red flags that may tell the truth.
1. I tell her the roast chicken is 86 for 20 more minutes. She asked what that meant.
2. I said push two particular entrees. She said oh if they ask?
3. Rang bell and handed her her Caesar salad, she turns around and grabs a jug of ranch. I stop her from dressing it. She asked, well then what dressing do we use?
4. Stopped her from cutting the cheese cake, nope she was about to try to cut a segment not a wedge.
5. It must repeatedly be explained that the table that is having the shrimp pasta and the grilled chicken breast will get their mains before the table that ordered steaks all around. Even though the steak table was seated first.
6. It is a good idea to hand a menu to the diner to look over while you get their water and drink order. Oh, and later return to ask what they would like to order.
I am thinking that her previous experience was as a waitress avatar in a game, or that she saw a waitress before.
Moving along, I say the place is in transition because they are in the process of selling but need to stay in business until it is sold. It is really a kinda fun gig. Not a big challenge of skill for me (okay, the daft FOH girl is) and is interesting. I do have to pull one double shift a week which is a real bitch. The resto is an hour away from me so it is not like I can drive home for a 2 hour break between the lunch and dinner service.
To top it off? I had done 3 b2b doubles and was exhausted. Fell asleep on the sofa, later woke up to go to bed. Got my right foot caught up in the laptop cables. Down goes Fraizer. Trying to not let the cables pull the laptop off the coffee table, I managed to smash my foot on the coffee table. So I have been working with a broken foot. What can ya do right? Suck it up and keep working. Hey, I have downloaded a human being and some where along the line developed a high pain tolerance. It is pretty much a requirement in the culinary world anyway.
So it has been like that.
Chef En Fuego 