Chef En Fuego

I suppose that if making a PBJ is outside your culinary comfort zone
http://markonefoods.com/

I was working as a Sous in this place in Boerne. Long commute and other stuff but here is one of the things that I found quite humorous.

We hired a prep cook. He was around 16 and his previous experience was working at the local Sonic. After his first week, we had invested in around 8 boxes of band-aides just for him.

Moving along, I told him to peel some carrots and then I would show him how to dice them. So far so good? Naw. There he stood at the cutting board, 10 lbs of carrots to one side and a hotel pan to the other. He grabbed a knife and stared at the carrots. I could see the look of dread on his little face. He looked at the knife in his hand. Back to the carrots. A look over to the band-aides. Then to me.

I gave him a peeler and showed him how to use it. Yes. Poor little kid. Ya know he was thinking the worst. Nope, I did not show him how to dice the carrots. Somehow, he managed to peel his thumb at one point. His duties were changed.

Why I don’t hate Vegetarians and Vegans

First off, I find the human forms great fodder for jokes. Second, animal vegans are enjoyed  grilled, poached, fried, baked, roasted, braised, and some of them in their raw form.

Let me rail on the human form. They come to the restaurant and eat the cheap stuff and pay full price. LOVE IT! When I was at LCB, one of my classmates was a vegan and made sure she took every opportunity to tell others about it. Omnivores were evil. She stated that she would rather wear shoes made from human skin than animal. Statements like that. I would just shake my head and think, kid, WRONG culinary school.

So anyway, she was on one of her tirades against the Omni’s. She finally said what I had waited so patiently to hear from her unenlightened mind. “I don’t eat anything with a face”. I could have been mature and taken the high road but no. It just jumped out of my mind and activated my vocal chords. So, you don’t uh… on your boyfriend?

She didn’t bring up her food style choice in my presence again. For some reason, she made a concerted effort to avoid me. I later used the same statement on a vegan friend. He really bends that whole vegan thing though.

The true Vegans? I shall speak on that as well. Let me start with chickens. They eat poo. They also eat grains and I have yet to see a chicken spit out a piece of corn that had a worm on it. The typical vegan land animal eats bugs all the time. Oh and our cud eating cow? Until someone clued to the whole using bone meal as feed, cattle were pretty much cannibals.

Pigs are different. Like humans, they eat anything including their own. OUCH! Didn’t think of your food like that? It is, in the short and not so sweet.

Shall I move on to fish. Oh yes Team Kembers! Enlighten your minions. Talapia. YUCK. That is pretty much all I can say about them. They are used to clean the catfish farms. More poo eaters. Crustaceans? More poo and decaying vegetation and rotting debris. I still appreciate the commercial fishermen. Hey, people want to eat the catch.

I would like to state again that I really do hold a certain reverence to the animals that we eat. I love all animals and feel it is my obligation as a Chef to treat them well. A can of cream of mushroom soup over the beasties is just cruel.

It amazes me.  I see this stuff at the HEB. Sardinian Music Bread. The package is 1 pound and sells for 14.00 US. HUH?!!!! It looked kinda familiar but not quite.

I looked it up just to find out what it was and why on Earth it would be so expensive. OH good gravy. It is basicly pita bread. I found a recipe for the music bread. Uh, well I am thinking that unless the bread comes with the bare-breasted Sardinian virgins that made it, no way I am paying that much for bread. What is in it? 1.5 cups each all purpose and semolina flour, yeast, some water and a pinch of salt.

There was a moment of temptation though. I wanted to get my lawn chair and park it by the display to see who (and later ask them WTF) would buy it.

Saw that some speghetti-o’s were recalled. They should all be recalled. It is nasty stuff. Ever notice the distinct canned pet food odor when opening it? A quick survey of 4 of my Chef buddies found that we agree. It is SHI*.   One stated that the parents that feed their children that garbage should be jailed.  Four of my friends that are parents, also agree that it is trash. *

My personal feeling is that if you feed your kids that crap, don’t bitch about the quality of the nursing home later on. Oh please, I really don’t want to hear (or read) any garbage about that it is cheap (yeah, it IS cheap) or convenient. Uh huh. Convenient? How?

A good cook works wonders with very little and waste is a heart breaker. A cook that really can’t cook is Rachel R. Nuff said. Naw, I will re-visit her again. Along with others.

* Yes, I shall address the MRE and MRI stuff at a later date.

I love all animals so I shall not entertain any sort of disrespect of their treatment.  Not even those that are sources of food.  It matters not if it is the milk we get or the meat.  I totally care and only give thanks to the beasts that give us nourishment.

To my little 4 legged friends.  Thank you and I strive to do you justice.

A pig is one of those multi-tasking animals.  Bacon, chops, loin, and on.  It has been said that you can eat it snout to tail and if you could catch the squeal, you would eat that too.  Ponder that a while.

My first entry and I feel so nervous.  Unusual as I am rarely at a loss for words.

The plan is for me to have weekly blogs about the life of a Chef, a weekly recipe and thoughts on all things I deem of interest.

Strap on your thinking caps and try to keep up!